Mommy Dearest

Mommy Dearest

Mommy Mommy!
I love you!
I hate you , I hate you !
I love you, but I can't stand you,
I don't need you...

Oh mommy dearest,
slowly killing me on the inside,
emotionally wearing me out.

You're worthless,
You aren't shit!
You will never amount to anything.
You...
You disgust me...

But then I hear the words,
"I love you..."
I know you mean it,
but it doesn't feel like it.

Oh mommy dearest,
slowly killing me on the inside,
emotionally wearing me out.

A mother is supposed to,
love and support her daughter!
Be best friends with her daughter!
But it seems as if you hate me,
your daughter.

I don't see you, ever!
Why don't you cheer me one?
Why don't you care?
Why don't I see you there?

Oh mommy dearest,
slowly killing me on the inside,
emotionally wearing me out.

Why can't you support my decisions?
Whether you like them or not!
You're supposed to support me,
and be there for me!
No matter how bad it might hurt...

And it may sound funny,
or even crazy,
but I feel as if my father,
is slowly but surely filling the space as a mother figure,
as well as remaining my father,
Because he is the man who has been there for me,
and supported me and my decisions,
from day one,
no matter how bad,
or how much he disagreed!
He had always been there for me!

Oh mommy dearest,
slowly killing me on the inside,
emotionally wearing me out.

But it shouldn't be like that!
Because in the end,
you're still my mother,
and I'm still your daughter,
and you should stop making me wish you gave me up,
and start loving me for me!

Oh mommy dearest,
slowly killing me on the inside,
emotionally wearing me out.

Thoughts

Before I start this poem I would like to leave a quick head note. Bullying , suicide, and depression are no joke. Your words turn into thoughts and the thoughts turn into actions. Love your peers because suicide kills. Rest In Peace Joseph "Joey - Joe Balls" Alfred Harris, this is for you.




Thoughts


It seems as if my suicidal thoughts aren't enough for you,
like you know I know I mean nothing to you.
It seems as if my hopes and aspirations are now a joke to you,
like I won't even make it long enough to even get the chance to try.

These thoughts run through my head,
like the picture is already painted,
on the canvas, that is my mind.

It seems as if you want me gone more than I do,
like if you had the choice you would make sure I wasn't here.,
It seems as if my inner demons are slowly taking over my body and my mind,
like I have no control, and all my good is gone.

These friends I have are now friends I had.
You act like I don't know its sad,
because eventually I have to face the fact that I had you and now I can't have you.
These deep thoughts keep running through my head,
and I think I'm going insane,
I am now losing my mind.

But everytime,
these thoughts always tend to come into and run through my head,
like the pictures already painted,
on the canvas that is my mind.

Maybe these suicidal thoughts will finally be enough for you,
because now,
the only thoughts that could ever run through my head,
are the one's of the way you used to feel,
when I used to be alive.

We Made A Promise

We Made A Promise

We made a promise,
That if you ride for me then i'ma die for you,
And if I ride for you then you gone die for me,
but i'm the only one who held theirs till the end.

I held my own.
I took care of mine,
lived for mine,
and loved mine.
Because you were my own.

But mine,
didn't hold his own,
take care of his own,
live for his own,
or even love his own,
because you didn't think of me... as your own.

You were supposed to,
hold me up while I held you down,
ride for me cause you know I was riding for you.
And you know that if we ever got into some shit,
I'd have your back quicker than your boys do!
Cause I loved you!

We made a promise,
That if you ride for me then i'ma die for you,
And if I ride for you then you gone die for me,
but i'm the only one who held theirs till the end.
But, what happened with you?

Teach Me

Teach Me

"Everyone, please open to page one of your test booklet, you have ninety minutes to complete this section of the test. You may begin."

I turn the page slowly,
anxious to see what awaits me.
For now, this is my destiny.
All I can see is,
long stories and even longer words.

I can clearly see,
but am blind to the definitions of words like,
embankment and exasperation.
What is that supposed to mean?
Did you forget I'm only fourteen?

Teach me, teach you, teach her, teach him, and teach us,
the same things,
But we don't understand,
Oops I mean comprehend.
Because if I cannot understand what it means to comprehend,
then I cannot be....

I cannot be taught or tested on the same level as,
he or she,
But I must be on that level,
So I can feel good!
Oops I mean well!
Because if I say good and not well,
Then I cannot understand,
Oops I mean comprehend,
The English language.

But why do you try!?
to teach me, teach her, teach him,and teach us,
the same thing?
Because we do not understand the same things.
So why?
Test me,test him,test her,and test us,
on the same things?
We dont all learn the same,
do we?

Testing me, testing him, testing her, and testing us,
all on the same things,
is like testing a fish by its ability to climb a tree.

The Untitled Poem

The Untitled Poem

Now you see,
my name is Christina,
my talent is writing poetry..
And ....and....
Oh yeah!
I just turned fourteen!

Now you see,
I'm a middle school poet,
ha!
And you didn't even know it ..
But I think ill cut it with the corny jokes now,
because it just isn't me.

I've been flipped upside down,
but it's okay because now I'm right side up.
Now I only need your attention for another minute.

I have more enemies than I have friends,
But I don't understand.
How can that be?
Only because your old best friend has a new best friend,
and the groups of best friends want nothing to do with me.

But I won't let it bother me no more.
Because I have a pen and this paper,
and I spend more time in my room than I do outside!
Yes, I'm still exercising!
Exercising my mind!

And I know it won't always rhyme but I just gotta go with it sometimes.
Now I've learned,
that throught writing down a few lines,
I can finally know what its like to shine,
because this is my only talent,
my only grind,
and my only place to shine.

I'm a poet,
and you finally know it.

And now you can see,
that I've shined,
over a thousand times.

Lust Over Love

Lust Over Love

Lust over love,
Sex over love.
She's in bed before the rings on her finger,
its everything over love.

She's hurt,
hurt from the nigga who,
who had a side, chick,
while she was his main chick.

Now she's bad,
bad at love , bad at heart, bad at everything.
Because her heart, her heart hurts,
from all the niggas,
all the niggas who think its cute..
Think its cute to keep a side chick.

She's hurt , real hurt.
And her heart, her heart hurts.
Hurts from the these niggas,
these niggas who think it's cute,
cute to throw trust away ..
throw all the love away.

And now my heart hurts,
my heart hurts for all the mothers who,
all the mothers who lay their daughters to rest, because of three letters,
H.I.V

And my heart heart hurts for the babies,
the babies that are,
having babies before,
they are finished being babies.

And my heart hurts,
my heart hurts!
For the girl,
for all the girls who,
who choose lust..
lust over love.

Maryjane

Maryjane
Maryjane, Maryjane, Maryjane!
She'll male you laugh when your about to cry.
She'll make smile just when you gonna frown.
She'll make you high when you're down.
Her name is Maryjane.
Maryjane, Maryjane!
You wanna hit once?
Oh, that's some funny shit.
You can't just hit it and quit it.
She'll make you want to hit it,
Over and over and over and over!
Until you just can't quit.
She's addictive man.
Her name is Maryjane.
Maryjane, Maryjane, Maryjane!
Damn, she's been used,
and she's been abused.
she loves every nigga,
the ball players, the rap stars, even the bum niggas on the streets.
She's the bitch that gets passed around.
But I love her best when she's with her bestfriend, lean.
Her name is Maryjane ...