Mommy Dearest

Mommy Dearest

Mommy Mommy!
I love you!
I hate you , I hate you !
I love you, but I can't stand you,
I don't need you...

Oh mommy dearest,
slowly killing me on the inside,
emotionally wearing me out.

You're worthless,
You aren't shit!
You will never amount to anything.
You...
You disgust me...

But then I hear the words,
"I love you..."
I know you mean it,
but it doesn't feel like it.

Oh mommy dearest,
slowly killing me on the inside,
emotionally wearing me out.

A mother is supposed to,
love and support her daughter!
Be best friends with her daughter!
But it seems as if you hate me,
your daughter.

I don't see you, ever!
Why don't you cheer me one?
Why don't you care?
Why don't I see you there?

Oh mommy dearest,
slowly killing me on the inside,
emotionally wearing me out.

Why can't you support my decisions?
Whether you like them or not!
You're supposed to support me,
and be there for me!
No matter how bad it might hurt...

And it may sound funny,
or even crazy,
but I feel as if my father,
is slowly but surely filling the space as a mother figure,
as well as remaining my father,
Because he is the man who has been there for me,
and supported me and my decisions,
from day one,
no matter how bad,
or how much he disagreed!
He had always been there for me!

Oh mommy dearest,
slowly killing me on the inside,
emotionally wearing me out.

But it shouldn't be like that!
Because in the end,
you're still my mother,
and I'm still your daughter,
and you should stop making me wish you gave me up,
and start loving me for me!

Oh mommy dearest,
slowly killing me on the inside,
emotionally wearing me out.

Thoughts

Before I start this poem I would like to leave a quick head note. Bullying , suicide, and depression are no joke. Your words turn into thoughts and the thoughts turn into actions. Love your peers because suicide kills. Rest In Peace Joseph "Joey - Joe Balls" Alfred Harris, this is for you.




Thoughts


It seems as if my suicidal thoughts aren't enough for you,
like you know I know I mean nothing to you.
It seems as if my hopes and aspirations are now a joke to you,
like I won't even make it long enough to even get the chance to try.

These thoughts run through my head,
like the picture is already painted,
on the canvas, that is my mind.

It seems as if you want me gone more than I do,
like if you had the choice you would make sure I wasn't here.,
It seems as if my inner demons are slowly taking over my body and my mind,
like I have no control, and all my good is gone.

These friends I have are now friends I had.
You act like I don't know its sad,
because eventually I have to face the fact that I had you and now I can't have you.
These deep thoughts keep running through my head,
and I think I'm going insane,
I am now losing my mind.

But everytime,
these thoughts always tend to come into and run through my head,
like the pictures already painted,
on the canvas that is my mind.

Maybe these suicidal thoughts will finally be enough for you,
because now,
the only thoughts that could ever run through my head,
are the one's of the way you used to feel,
when I used to be alive.

We Made A Promise

We Made A Promise

We made a promise,
That if you ride for me then i'ma die for you,
And if I ride for you then you gone die for me,
but i'm the only one who held theirs till the end.

I held my own.
I took care of mine,
lived for mine,
and loved mine.
Because you were my own.

But mine,
didn't hold his own,
take care of his own,
live for his own,
or even love his own,
because you didn't think of me... as your own.

You were supposed to,
hold me up while I held you down,
ride for me cause you know I was riding for you.
And you know that if we ever got into some shit,
I'd have your back quicker than your boys do!
Cause I loved you!

We made a promise,
That if you ride for me then i'ma die for you,
And if I ride for you then you gone die for me,
but i'm the only one who held theirs till the end.
But, what happened with you?